Lance Hardwick Mysteries


This is a 1947 Radio Serial presented in Mono with limited FX and music. This is a NEW continuing series from the 4077th filled with lots of Sexual Innuendos and Double Entendres! Jeff plays Lance Hardwick (The Americanized version of his original name Lazer Horowitz) a sort of Paranormal Investigator/Gumshoe and Yiddisha Detective! His sidekick is Dick Reardon (played by Viktor Aurelius) is a young stupid klutz who Lance continually abuses for his amusement but says it’s to teach the boy to someday be a GREAT Investigator like his Idol and Boss. 
More stories will follow in this comedy series which parodies classic Serials from the Golden Age of Radio! Lance will soon battle Nazis, The Red Menace, Monsters, Aliens and others who are trying to destroy America! And get ready for Lance's Sponsors! Each story will have its own set of commercials from 1947 starring the cast of the show!
A VERY special thanks goes out to Jeff Ö’Brien for the inspiration to create this first adventure! He talked about “Cthulhu Boobs” on our radio show and Jeff Niles and I ran with the idea! I would LOVE to see what else he comes up with! He is the man behind Big Boobenstein and “Splatterhouse Rules“.

Make sure to Follow Lance Hardwick on Facebook for special posts from Lance himself!!
How does a man from 1947 make Facebook posts? Episode Two of "Cthulhu Boobs" will answer your question!

"It has a Rocky Horror feel to it! Lance Hardwick is a Detective that's unlike any other!" - Jeff Niles

Season 1

1.1 "Her Kisses Were Steamy But... 
OH, Those Cthulhu Boobs!"

In this first adventure Lance and Dick, along with their drowsy receptionist Gay Schlafen (which means “Go to Sleep” in Yiddish, played by Rachel Rumler) and Agent Ace Stompers, an inept Government Special Agent (played by Jonithan Patrick Russell) will try to discover why young men are being found dead after they were seen on a date with a Voluptuous Blonde woman named Betty! Little do they know, Betty’s breasts are POSSESSED by EVIL and are FROM BEYOND the understanding of Humanity! They are also able to suck the life out of men who are unfortunate enough to be lured by her sexual charms!

Part Three

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1.2 "The CHannukah CHorror" 

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1.3 "Mishuganas from Space"

Part One 

Part Two 

Part Three

2.1 "Curses of the Mummy"


You can enjoy Lance Hardwick on YouTube here!


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And now a word from our 1947 Sponsors!

Listen to them all at our Archive Page

Chaim's Channukah Candles - Starring Lance Hardwick (Jeff Niles)

Channukah Harry's Channukah Bushes - Starring Channukah Harry (Viktor Aurelius)

Magillah Soap - Starring Dick Reardon (Viktor Aurelius) and his Mom (Eleiece Krawiec).

Ver Clempt Cigarettes - Starring Lance Hardwick (Jeff Niles)


Copyright The 4077th and All Better Audio 2014-15 (by way of 1947!)

Want to learn MORE about Yiddish Phrases? Did Lance confuse you?

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